Does Christmas sleigh you? (From Barry And District News)

Does Christmas sleigh you?

DOES this festive dilemma sound familiar? Newly-weds James and Jenny Harker were looking forward to their first Christmas until both sets of parents decided to share Christmas dinner with them.

The problem was, the couples don't get on. And that meant a huge headache for the Harkers. "In the end, we went to my Mum's for lunch and James' for dinner, which meant we spent the whole day on the road," said Jenny. "And we had far too much to eat..." Their story is shared by thousands every year. And psychologists say that Christmas is one of the most difficult times of year for us because we expect so much of it. Divorce and separation rates soar after the festive season as families forced to spend time together find it's all too much. And nearly everyone with a lot of preparation to do for the holiday ends up frazzled.

So how can you beat the Christmas blues? It's not impossible - but you are going to cope with your family successfully this year, you have to set yourself stern limits. First of all, don't set your sights too high. No-one will worry if their present doesn't fit, or if the sprouts go a bit soft. Then start planning. And make it easy; if your countdown to Christmas is an exhausting struggle, it will sour your temper and make family disputes even more likely. Christmas is all about drawing your relatives together, but that can be a problem all on its own.

Think hard about who you are going to invite; if your Aunt Ada is a trouble-making horror, don't ask her. And if you think that's harsh, consider this: who's more important - Aunt Ada or your marriage? Sort out problems like Wendy and James' dilemma well before Christmas. That way, everyone has time to make alternative arrangements and clear the air before the holiday arrives.

After that, it's all a matter of cutting down your workload. For instance, the guests who do come will appreciate how busy you are. Don't go mad trying to decorate the spare bedroom - <caron> chances are they won't notice anyway.

All you need to do is make sure you have enough beds and bedding, and clean towels. They'll enjoy their visit far more if you are relaxed and welcoming. Catering need not be a problem, either. Try to do most of your shopping in one big supermarket dash <caron> and rope in as many people to help as you can. Now that some supermarkets are even open right through the night, no-one has an excuse to get out of it!

Freeze as much as you can of the dinner, so it will be easy to handle on the day. But do rememeber to thaw your turkey out well in advance - soggy sprouts may not be a disaster, but food poisoning certainly is.

Gifts need not be a hassle. Try not to agonise about who gets what; any thoughtful present will be appreciated - and if it's not, is it really the end of the world? Remember, too, to get in a small supply of little presents and ready-wrap them for those embarrassing moments when you get an unexpected gift yourself. While you're making all these preparations for other people, try to remember yourself. Fit in some time for relaxation, even if it's only a luxurious long bath; get a good night's sleep by adding a few calming drops of lavender oil to the water. After all, Uncle Fred snores through the Queen's Speech - this year, you don't want to join him!