Glamorgan batsman talks of his retirement (From Barry And District News)

Glamorgan batsman talks of his retirement

I NEVER thought it would be this difficult.

In my own mind I have probably known since I had the major operation at the end of June that my cricketing career was finished. But still it was incredibly hard to finally announce it over the weekend.

As so often with these types of announcements it was clumsily managed and that was mainly my own fault.

With a career in the media beckoning I obviously have many contacts and many people whom I felt owing to, but in trying to please everyone I made a pig's ear of it, and I was 'finished' on Friday when I wanted it to be on Sunday.

No matter, it is done now, and I can think of little better way of bowing out than through an appreciation piece which was written by Michael Atherton, someone whom I have always held in the highest regard both as a cricketer and a bloke.

We are still good friends, having met at Cambridge University, and I thought his article was excellent, a little sad and emotional even, but reading it was the first time it really hit home that I would not be donning the daffodil on my sweater or cap again. For one not given to excessive emotion, I even had a tear in my eye.

"You're a long time retired" is one of the most overworked clichs in sporting circles, but it holds unerringly true; and it was that thought that kept me going for as long as I did in my bid to recover from that drastic knee surgery.

All logic pointed to retirement and for most of the time I was fairly negative about my chances; but at sporadic intervals there appeared tantalising glimpses of light at the end of the tunnel.

My progress, however small, rarely hit a plateau for long. A fortnight ago I went for the lightest of jogs (only the fourth I had managed) and was unable to complete the 20 minutes I had been set.

The pain was all too familiar, as was the inability to walk properly the next morning and for subsequent days.

My decision had been made for me. I have the rest of my life to look forward to and I don't want to spend it limping and in considerable pain.

I am not going to look back at my career in detail; that is for others. But one view I do not subscribe to and mentioned by Atherton is the 'no regrets' line so often trotted out in these circumstances.

As a professional sportsman you are constantly looking to better yourself and as such there are always things that you think you might have done differently.

And that is the case with me: there are so many things I know I could have done differently. For instance if I had sorted myself out mentally and technically earlier I might have played more for England.

But they are personal regrets, and that is not to say I am not acutely aware of how fortunate I have been to have played professional cricket for 18 years. It has been a wonderful journey.

The future is mainly in journalism, but as that is only likely to be for a couple of days a week at most, I shall be looking for other work as well.

I definitely want to stay involved with Glamorgan, even if only in a small capacity, and I have thoroughly enjoyed doing some coaching this winter.